What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
