Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
