dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
