do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
