actually, I'm a sock model
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
