good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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