Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
