just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
