um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
