She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
