There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
