If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think I just sharted jello shots
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
