I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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