I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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