yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
