someone get that fucking seahorse.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
is wine microwaveable?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Randomize
