i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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