i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
