I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
