it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Randomize
