wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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