Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
they need to just BURY HIM!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
nutella sex= disaster
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
