What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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