I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
