I'm going to jail i love you
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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