Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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