so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
