Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
