1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
