i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
