I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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