dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
