I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
