If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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