i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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