Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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