you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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