i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh god it's open bar.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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