AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
