Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So many bounce houses so little time
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
