Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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