But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
