She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
