sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
