Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
