I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
