i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
