You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
