I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
