I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
