I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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