I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
