OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
