just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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