don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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